Thursday, March 09, 2006

Top Ten Things Overheard in Key West Last Week

WARNING: There is a very good probability that only 5 people in the world will think this is funny at all, and I'm pretty sure that one of them doesn't even know I have a blog--so I guess we'll make it four.

ANOTHER WARNING: I guess I should tell you that these aren't numbered in order of humorousness, Dave Letterman style, because I simply do not feel like thinking that much right at the moment.


Thing 1: I feel like dog-shit.

Thing 2: You smell like Ronnie.

Thing 3: I sat in pee.

Thing 4: I stepped in Spit.

Thing 5: Can I buy you ladies a drink?

Things 6: Can I buy you ladies a drink?

Thing 7: (imagine sounds of very skinny girl dry-heaving into a garbage can in bed next to you)*

Thing 8: Fluffy! Big Boy! I don't know! Gate! Pink! Pool! 157!**

Thing 9: Can we please eat something of sustenance?

Thing 10: Moped Hospital

*I know it's gross, but I had to hear it first hand. Count yourself lucky.

**If you are one of the last people on earth who hasn't seen the credit card commercial that is referred to here, then I guess you think I'm pretty retarded.
Shouldn't be too shocking, really.

5 Comments:

Blogger Pete said...

i bet the stories for most of those sound better in your head than when you try to explain them.

11:27 PM  
Blogger tiffany said...

which is exactly why i didn't even try...

1:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well hmm..i almost peed my pants while reading that humorous entry. is that how you spell peed? "spit" is quite the funny word to describe the gel-like substance. i miss it..i miss calling the "green parrot" "parrot bay"..i miss getting ready in a hotel/condo with my two best friends who make no sense at all when speaking..or babbling. i miss your beautiful freckles and Les saying, "what's up my ladies?". i miss RONNIE and him following us around the gorgeous island..i miss the awesome aqua marvelous marine water we saw only while coming and then again as we were leaving. i miss the grilled cheese and peanut butter sandwhiches we ate at the hotel bar while we were gagging from the smell of Jack Daniels..i miss taking 2 bites of food and not being able to stomach the rest of our plates..i miss the incredibly confusing and quite tiny bathroom at Duffy's..i miss being watched from the balcony at Rick's while we trolly around Duval St..i miss enrique! i miss our mentalist friend who burned a whole in your shirt with my cigarette...or did he? i miss the hot sun peeling my face away and allowing it to turn 4 different shades of skin-color. i miss someone's face having a "hickie" on the bottom of it. i miss Dirty Rita's band..is that even their name? i must stop here and thank 2 lovely women for allowing me to travel with them on our adventure. i definately could not have gone and had so much fun without the donations from these two women. THANK-YOU babygirl and beatiful freckles girl! i love you both unconditionally.

6:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bj- why you gotta make me cry. I am so glad that i got to share the most amazing vacation ever with you and tiff. Love you and miss you very much.

7:20 PM  
Blogger tiffany said...

wait, bj...
i thought they were LOANS, not donations.
are you trying to say that you're never paying us back?

hmm?

12:03 AM  

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