Monday, September 26, 2005

in which i tell you that i am learning nothing


you might think that i haven't posted anything lately because i have been very busy with my 18 credit hours and have been basically getting my learn-on non-stop for the past 3 weeks.

this would be so, sooooo wrong.

the reason i have not posted anything is because all even remotely creative places in my brain have been bored to death by the horrible hours i am forced to endure at school.

for example:
i have this one class that i like to call writing resumes for the retarded. now, no one in this class is actually retarded. but there are definetely some very close calls.
anyhow, the professor really overloaded us with homework this weekend by giving us seven sentences which were very vague and asking us to re-write them with more concrete images.

this is a task that took four minutes.

one original sentence was "my pet ran away this morning, and a friend of mine found him in an unusual place clear on the other side of the city."

this sentence could be re-written any number of ways--you could be more specific about what kind of pet it was, where it was found, etc.
or you could beat your head against the wall in utter disbelief that you are being forced to do this at all.

and then you could go to class and listen as the teacher and your other classmates debate for twenty-twominutes about what might be the best way to re-write this sentence--this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad third grade sentence!

for kicks, let me just give you a little sample of some of the things that were said in class.

stupid girl 1: well, i changed 'pet' to 'dog' and i said that he was found at the mall instead of at an 'unusual place.'

stupid girl 2: well, i think mine is better because i said 'my cat, fluffy' instead of 'pet.' so mine is more specific.

me: (inwardly) oh-my-mother-fucking-god-you've-got-to-be-kidding-me-i-need-a-martini.

yes, i am a mean and horrible person.
but, for real. that class sucks.


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