WARNING: There is a very good probability that only 5 people in the world will think this is funny at all, and I'm pretty sure that one of them doesn't even know I have a blog--so I guess we'll make it four.
ANOTHER WARNING: I guess I should tell you that these aren't numbered in order of humorousness, Dave Letterman style, because I simply do not feel like thinking that much right at the moment.
Thing 1: I feel like dog-shit.
Thing 2: You smell like Ronnie.
Thing 3: I sat in pee.
Thing 4: I stepped in Spit.
Thing 5: Can I buy you ladies a drink?
Things 6: Can I buy you ladies a drink?
Thing 7: (imagine sounds of very skinny girl dry-heaving into a garbage can in bed next to you)*
Thing 8: Fluffy! Big Boy! I don't know! Gate! Pink! Pool! 157!**
Thing 9: Can we please eat something of sustenance?
Thing 10: Moped Hospital
*I know it's gross, but I had to hear it first hand. Count yourself lucky.
**If you are one of the last people on earth who hasn't seen the credit card commercial that is referred to here, then I guess you think I'm pretty retarded.
Shouldn't be too shocking, really.