Thing 1: Whole Foods makes a really amazing spinach and lentil soup. I am in love with this soup, in a way I have never loved anything that was even remotely healthy-to-eat before. I would like to take a bath in it, that's how good it is. But it would be better if the bathtub was made of the Australian Cheddar that I found there, because it is pretty damn fantastic as well.
Thing 2: Last weekend at work, a man sent a dirty martini back because--he claims--he couldn't taste the alcohol. This was an amazingly stupid thing to say, because a dirty martini is made entirely from either gin or vodka, with a small splash of olive juice added in To Hide The Flavor Of The Liquor.
Do we really need to discuss the retarded-ness of this situation?
I thought not.
Thing 3, which is really more than one thing, but whatever: I leave for Key West in 3 days. Southbeachification didn't go as well as I would have liked, I've been tanning for 4 weeks and have succeeded only in maintaining a solid pastey-white coloring, and my car key is stuck in the ignition. Which is bad, since I'm driving to Florida. I don't have any shoes that I like, I have a mid-term Thursday, I'm hungry, and I just decided that I love Sasha Cohen.
Ok. That's all.
You may go now.