Tuesday, January 23, 2007

who decided that this man should ever be allowed to speak? oh, yeah. it was us. oops!

ok, so we're about 6 minutes away from gwb's 6th state of the union adddress.
here's hoping that we get to see some fun stuff like this...



i think i'm going to go make myself a drink.

8:59pm they were just talking about how this might be the most hostile audience at a state of the union address since nixon. if gwb were a smart man, he would have made sure the audience had the proper supplies.
see below.



because, i don't like that man, but i can tell you that i'm not feeling hostile at all.
not yet, anyway.

9:09pm here he comes. i got a little bit of a pukey feeling when i saw his smug little face, but no hostility.

9:12pm i must say, it's pretty awesome to see the first woman speaker EVER introduce the president. whether you're liberal or conservative--this is definitely a historical moment. and gw is being awfully gracious. good for him. hostility level? still zero.

9:16pm 3 minutes down, no major speaking problems yet. i can feel it coming though, can't you?

9:17pm no, i don't feel bad for saying that.

9:18pm we should balance the federal budget? what? i've never heard such a thing! you are such an innovator! especially since you just said you can do it without raising taxes--oh, wait, i just got a song stuck in my head. it goes like this: liar, liar, pants on fire...

9:20pm he made a joke. and didn't suck. ear marks do suck, though. so i guess i just agreed with him on something.

9:21pm you know, i've never met anyone who worked in a public school (and i know a lot of them) who didn't think 'no child left behind' was a terrible idea.
***my mom just said you can teach chimpanzees to pass tests. is that all that matters?

9:24pm health insurance is a good thing. other than that, i have no idea what's going on right now.

9:27pm ooooh, here comes the immigration part.

9:27pm still raise your hand if you can't trace your family heritage back to immigrants who came here from some place or another.
***come on, i know there must be at least one or two of you out there!

9:29pm did he just say we need to uphold the tradition of the melting pot, by helping immigrants assimilate into our society? i thought i heard him say that. hmmmm.

9:31pm bio-diesel fuel...grass...woodchips...blah blah....no idea what's going on. wait...reduce dependency on foreign oil? reduce ammount of oil we use? am i hallucinating? seriously, i've only had, like, 3 sips of my drink so far.

9:33pm holy poop, i think i just heard gw say the words 'global climate change' in a way that made it sound like he actually believes it could possibly exist. is it my birthday? i'm seriously a little freaked out right now.

9:35pm now we're talking about 'taking the fight to the enemy.'

9:36pm can't we all just get along?

9:36pm alright, here's the gw i know, providing us with a long list of terrorist threats we should be crapping our pants over.

9:41pm this is me, TOTALLY BORED OUT OF MY MIND WITH HEARING ABOUT THIS FUCKING WAR.



9:43PM iraq iraq iraq hezbollah syria iraq iraq iraq sunni legitimate government sectarian violence it's the fight we're in we all wish this war was over and won but it doesn't make sense to leave now and abandon our friends* blah blah towards victory blah.
*yeah, packing up and moving all our troops right at this very second probably isn't a good idea. but is it really any more nonsensical than starting this war to begin with?

9:46pm insurgents and roaming death squads. yummy!!!

9:47pm i have to pee.

9:48pm yes, i understand that failure in iraq would be bad. that it would make us look bad, and leave the region really unstable. but, we look really bad NOW. and the region is really unstable NOW. for the record, i'm not saying i have a better idea--i'm just saying six in one, a half dozen in another. but, if one of those six includes LESS DEATH AND DESTRUCTION...i'd probably choose that one. call me sentimental.

9:49pm sweeeeeeeet, he just threatened us with 9/11 again. and i would too, if i were him. we bow down like a bunch of cowards and go along with anything when threatened with that stuff.

9:52pm dude. i totally think gw is, like, listening to my thoughts. i just said i was bored of hearing about the war in iraq, and so now he's talking about how we have to stop iran! he is so considerate of my feelings.

9:54pm dude. he just mentioned darphur. maybe he really is reading my mind.

9:56pm ELIMINATE POVERTY!!!!! sounds good. let's do it.

9:57pm still have to pee.

9:58pm missing and exploited children make me very sad.

9:59pm yay for this julie lady who is doing something i didn't quite hear to help missing and exploited children. also, yay for this guy who jumped in front of a train or something to save someone.

10:00 i don't understand war, at all. i wish we could do away with it altogether. still, i can't help but get i little bit teary when i see the entire congress turned around to applaud that sergeant that they had seated up next to laura and lynne. i'm sure he deserved it, and i hope it was as special a moment for him as it looked.

10:02 and he's done.

10:04pm and i'm going potty.

p.s. i really feel that none of you should be denied the rule that d.b. echo came up with for the state of the union drinking game:

If the President uses the word “nucular” at any point, stand up and shout at the TV “IT’S ‘NUCLEAR’, YOU F***ING MORON! NUUU-KLEEE-ERRRR! HOW HARD IS THAT TO PRONOUNCE???!!!” Drink the entire contents of the nearest bottle of alcohol and hurl the empty bottle at the TV. Then stomp off to bed, cursing the more than six million fellow-morons who voted for Bush in 2004. Lie awake wondering how you’ll pay for a new TV.

seriously, it is a good thing i had just gone to the bathroom, otherwise we all know what would have happened.

22 comments:

A Family's Year of Living Green said...

Drinking game...everytime he gets boo'ed you must chug your drink.
Also, just wondering...is he magic? How's he going to erase the deficit without raising taxes? This I'd like to see!
My hostility level high...but I have no vodka or cookies.

tiffany said...

wtf?
no vodka or cookies!!!!

at least you'll be at the arena soon.

A Family's Year of Living Green said...

yes, if we could stop laughing about your video we'd leave right now. I sure do hope Ob/gyn's get to practice their logs with women all over the country.

yingleping said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
CSL said...

Okay, two glasses of wine later, I'm watching after all. I still say AAAACK. But I decided to vent my ury by blogging it.

CSL said...

That's Fury. I'm too mad to type properly.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Thanks for the 411. Like I said before I just can't listen to the man anymore.

Ah yes, still trying to rule the country through fear. I am sick of him exploiting the people who died on Sept. 11th.

Seriously he mentioned climate change, a balanced budget, reducing our dependency on oil, and Darphur!?!!

*faints*

lamama said...

thank god we got to see nancy in position ! Time to move on.....bye bye gwb. Liar liar pants on fire!

newspace.team@gmail.com said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
D.B. Echo said...

Holy crap! Two spam comments out of nine! I think you need to activate Word Verification. It's annoying, but it's mostly useful.

I chose to ignore Our Glorious Leader's words almost entirely and focus on incidental details - clothing, body language, etc. Details on my blog here:

http://anothermonkey.blogspot.com/2007/01/politics-of-incidental-details.html

I want Bizarro-world mirror-image vodka and cookies! I prefer Tulosba and Yoha Spihc to Ffonrims and Soma Suomaf, though.

tiffany said...

yeah, i removed the word verification and everything was fine for a little over a week, i think.
those were the first two spam comments i got, but they are super annoying.

p.s.
now i have the 'bizarro' song from sealab stuck in my head.

Bob said...

The guy's an idiot. Always has been. It's funny: my last trip back to the U.S., my friends, who were all big supporters, are now saying (and I paraphrase): "you know what Bob, maybe you WERE right after all".

PS congrats on the iMac. Welcome to the world of the intelligent and elite. ;-)

Missy said...

good post. i especially like the title.

David said...

Good work.. I wonder if I'll get a good summary of it in the Nagaland Post tomorrow..


By the way has there been any news at all in the States about UFLA and Assam?

star8278 said...

OMG, that was freakin' hilarious and awesome. I missed the entire thing and couldn't wait to check out your commentary this morning. Great job! BTW, love your glasses.

Mary Flannery-Scientist said...

As someone who works in public schools, I can definitley say No Child Left Behind is the dumbest fucking thing every conceived by humankind. I make this metaphor:

The foreman of a ditch digging company thinks the ditches aren't being dug fast enough. So does he buy shovels to replace the spoons they have to dig with? Does he hire more ditch diggers because the ones he has are overworked? No. Instead, he stops the diggers more often to measure their holes, then gives them smaller spoons to dig with if they are too shallow. Then he cuts their pay. Then he wonders why there is a ditch digger shortage.

Also, his health care plan is basically "Let's take thirty billion (I am not even making that number up) from hospital susidies (that keep rural hospitals open, btw) and give it to pay a tiny fraction of the cost of their health insurance. Never mind that they will no longer have a place to use said insurance. Robbing Peter to pay, well, Peter.

BTW, Tiffany, did you get my invite?

Pete said...

Tiff, i think that your camera is up backwards. the names on the vodka and cookies are in reverse. you better turn it around.

tiffany said...

pete--um, yeah, i see that. but the camerea is, like, INSIDE the computer. i've never, like, touched it or whatever. so right now i may just be highlighting what a computer ignorant fool i am...but is there even anything i can do about that? i sort of just thought that's the way it is.

sigh.

David said...

Once you take the picture in photo booth click on the photo and go up to edit menu->flip photo. Or just press apple key F.

tiffany said...

thanks, dave!

p.s.
i know you don't exactly live down the street (or on the same continent, for that matter), but it would be great if you could stop by and show me how to use this big hunk of computer i've got.

i have this feeling it can do a lot of stuff that i have no idea about.

Daniel said...

I am surprised you missed it...he actually tried to intorduce a tax on HEALTH INSURANCE! That has to be the most absurd thing he has ever said (and yes, I understand the enormous depth of meaning behind that statement).

Now I know the above statement will be popular on this board, but the following will not...

In Florida, we have a program that is similar to "No Child Left Behind", and oddly enough, it was created by Jeb.

You will never meet anyone involved in the school system who is in favor of the program. However, when presented with facts, it tends to change peoples minds.

The teacher's union is a very big and powerful special interest group. That is not good or bad, it is just a fact. And unions work to protect their members. Anything that could be a negative construed against a member is looked upon with disdain.

But what has happened is there has ben steady improvement in the educationsystem, ever since the FCAT (a standardized test measuring the three R's) was not only introduced, but carried consequences (both good and bad) with it.

If a child cannot pass the FCAT for their grade they do not pass the grade. I understand this seems Draconian, but the fact is if children cannot read, write, or do math at that grade level, they should stay and learn it.

Teachers are graded on how their children perform. No one likes people looking over their shoulder, but when you have a severe problem, severe steps need to be taken.

School districts are also graded on their students performance. They also do not like this, beacuse, again, people do not like having someone watch over their shoulders.

The popular belief is that failing districts are punished for not meeting standards. This is true. But many assume this means these schools lose funding. This is flatly untrue. They receive more money, but are put under supervision from the state, as they have already shown they annot make their system work.

So, has it worked? Yes, it has. But people are unhappy with the way it has worked. (http://www.ocala.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070125/OPINION/201250354/1008/OPINION)

Until we find a system that is better, this is what we have. I hear complaints from teachers that they have to teach to the assessments. This is true. Most who know me know I am a big proponent of education in ALL subjects. However, you must be grounded in the basics, and right now, out children are having trouble receiving those. Maybe we will have more improvement in the future, and then we can shift the focus back to a broader curriculum (although I will say the requirements for garduation in Florida are rather rigorous, including classes in Civics, Economics, hard science, Social Science, etc.)

To use the "ditch digger" theory, the supervisor (or inspector or engineer) would be remiss if he did not check to see that the ditch was built properly before using it for its intended purpose.

(Sorry that was so long. No way to make that point any shorter).

tiffany said...

ummm, i can't figure out what went on here.
i didn't delete anyone's comments, but i can't figure out who's missing here.

damn blogger.