confessions

so, i have something to tell you guys.

i read 'mommy-blogs.'

i'm not a mommy, i'm not planning on becoming a mommy--at least not anytime soon, but i read mommyblogs. everyday.

i think it started when i stumbled across amy's blog, over at amalah.com. i wish that i could remember how exactly i found it, but i can't. i do remember that it was something ridiculous--like i googled something, looking for some piece of information or another for a paper i was working on for school, and it led me to her blog. i wasn't really into blogs yet at that time, but i did go back and check it out every once in a while.

it wasn't until she wrote this post, about being pregnant for the first time and seeing her baby on the ultrasound, that i got hooked.
i mean, when she captions one of the pictures of her baby's skull on the ultrasound with 'I AM SKELETOR, FROM THE PLANET EYE SOCKET FURY OMICRON 8. ALL YOUR CHEERIOS ARE BELONG TO US?' i was hooked. i mean, is that not the funniest thing you've ever read?

so, while i liked amalah before, i didn't start to love her until she was a 'mommyblogger.' i think it's coincidence, but a fact, nonetheless.

anyway, obviously my love for her blog makes sense, because as it turns out, a lot of people love her and that is why she got to quit her job and stay at home, with her son (who is no longer in utero), where people pay her to blog.
seriously, how awesome is that?

anyway, the whole reason that i'm confessing my 'mommyblog love' is because of something i found on one of the blogs that amy now gets paid to write.

earlier today, she linked to a blog i'd never heard of before. and this post moved me to tears. like, four times. i'm not kidding.

you REALLY MUST GO READ IT.
it's not that long, and it's totally worth it.

even though i'm not a mother myself, this post really spoke to me.

i'm not proud of this, at all, but i used to get really freaked out when i would see a 'disabled' person (even a child) of any sort.

the thing, for me, was this:
i was pretty sure that, if nothing else, most disabled people don't want to be treated as though they are 'different.' that, i'm sure, is not true one hundred percent of the time, because nothing ever is. but, anyway. my point is that i would always get this tremendous sense of guilt when i would walk by a disabled person and find myself 'ignoring' them. but, i walk by most people and 'ignore' them. i mean, i'm not from the south. we are not friendly people, above the mason-dixie line, or whatever the hell it's called! ok, i mean, it's not that we're not nice, per say, it's more that we're not all that friendly to strangers, i guess.

anyway, i guess that was my attempt to explain my conundrum.
i mean, i could walk by people without acknowledging them all day long, but when i would walk by a disabled person, i was afraid that they would think that i was ignoring them BECAUSE of their disablity.
but if i would make eye contact with them, and smile, and say some generic greeting of some sort--i don't know, that seemed forced and yucky and fake as well.

it took me a while to figure out that letting myself think about it this much is probably the one thing that the disabled person definitely wouldn't want.

so, i got over it.

oh, and i also started making an effort at being more friendly to people in general, with mixed results. there are probably some blog worthy stories in that vein, but for now?

i'm sleepy.
go read the stuff i linked you to.

p.s.
if you've never read amalah, you should totally read all her archives. in order.
she is definitely worth the time.