To: Fruit Flies
Re: The Flying and the Buzzing and Whatnot
From: Someone who clearly is not the queen of the world--hence this letter.
Dear annoying, buzzing, flying around-all-over little fruit flies,
I do not like you, because you are dumb.
You are fruit flies. But there is no fruit in my apartment.
Please take note of this important fact, and get-the-fuck-out.
We have only vodka and lean cuisine frozen meals to offer--oh, and cookies.
But still, no fruit. You clearly have misjudged this as a cool apartment to live in. Unless you like to watch re-runs of Friends and Sex and the City for 5 hours a day. Then I guess you're not doing too bad for yourself.
But, I digress.
The point is, get the fuck out.
Or, mom? Will you please come over and help me clean? I have no idea where these vodka-cookie-sexandthecity-non-fruit-flies are coming from.
Queen of Messy Apartments