tiffany and the best christmas present ever.

i think i've talked to you all about my adorable little sweet-cheeked nephew before.
really, i would love to show some adorable sweet-cheeked pictures that i took of him on christmas eve, but apparently my brother has some kind of a problem with me posting pictures of his children on the internet.*
loser. it's like he thinks he owns them, like, just because he produced them out of thin air or something. sheesh.

anyway, fortunately for us all, i did post a picture of my nephew once before. so, if you click this link, and scroll down to where the pictures are, you will totally see some sweet little cheeks. you might also catch a glimpse of my three nieces.**

okay, are you all back now?
because i really have to tell you what my nephew did on christmas eve.

it all starts with the fact that, even though he has the most kissable cheeks OF ALL TIME, my nephew does not like to be kissed at all. fortunately, i am bigger than him, so i can still plant one on him pretty much whenever i want, as long as i'm willing to use force.
which i am willing to do, of course.

anyhow, when my brother and his wife were getting ready to leave, my nephew came over and crawled up into my lap to give me a hug goodbye.
as he sat there, i informed him that though i was sorry because i knew he wouldn't like it, i was going to have to give him a kiss.

~a conversation with a four year old~

him: no! kisses are gross! i hate kisses!

me: well, that's really too bad. because you're already on my lap and you don't have a good chance of escaping.

him: no! kisses are gross! i hate kisses!

me: look, it's christmas. i already gave you some presents, so i really think you should just let me give you one kiss.

him: no! no kisses!

(it should also be noted that he is giggling hysterically the entire time, so i'm obviously not torturing him too badly)

me: come on. just let me give you a tiny kiss right on the end of your nose. you'll hardly feel it. i promise.

him: kisses are yucky!

me: fine. then i will sit here and close my eyes, and you can give me a kiss. please? i really just want a little kiss for christmas.

he then gets a look of deep concentration on his face. he looks up, and puts his little hands on my cheeks, and looks into my eyes.
i am sure something good is about to happen.

then he reaches up, and gives me a slobbery kiss on the lips.
and, while he's there, he twists his little head back and forth, making it look like we're doing a 'movie kiss.'

i just sit there, completely frozen, until he is done.
everyone sitting around the table is peeing themselves.

i look at my nephew and say thank-you.
he jumps off my lap and runs off to get in the car.

i just sat there, trying to absorb the fact that my four year old nephew just tried to french kiss me.

but, really?
i think it's great.
because he DID NOT want a kiss. he didn't want to give me a kiss, either. but he thought about it. he took my feelings into account on the issue. he was like 'kisses are gross, but i can see that aunt tiff really wants one. so, just this once, i'm going to give her a kiss, because it's christmas. and, damnit, i'm going to give her THE BEST kiss i can.'
and, you know?
he did.

merry fucking christmas to me.


*i tried to compromise with him, because i really didn't want you guys to be denied of the cuteness. i even said please, just let me post the pictures. no one will know their names, or where they live, or how they belong to. in fact, i will post the pictures with the caption 'i have no idea who these children are, or where they came from. but, look! aren't the adorable and sweet-cheeked?'
but he just sort of looked at me like he wished i would stop talking already.
so i guess it was a no go.
**one of them is my nephew's twin, and people? she is redefining sweet-cheekedness. i'm not kidding.