Sunday, October 30, 2005

In Which I Retract An Earlier Statement

A few posts ago--no, I don't know exactly how many, because that would involve counting, which, yuck--I told a story about a horrible class I have. I referred to the class as Writing Resumes for the Retarded. I went on to point out that no one in this class actually is retarded.

I would now like to retract this statement.

This may seem harsh--and trust me, I really didn't want to have to do this.
But, people? Some Things Can Not Be Helped.

Such as the little story I will now tell you.

Setting: horrid, window-less room in very old school building, EMU campus, Ypsilanti, MI. Students are broken up into small groups to peer-edit each others stupid, trivial little one-page papers which they probably shouldn't have been forced to write to begin with.

Tiffany is handed a paper by a young man who seems outwardly normal.

She begins to read.

The first line of the paper goes like this--
Special education; is because some students that needs one on one help.*

Tiffany re-reads the sentence, because it is so horrible that it can't possibly be true--'students that needs'? and what the fuck is that semi-colon doing there?
a semi-colon is supposed to separate two complete but related sentences.

Tiffany isn't even sure if she can see one complete sentence here.

Tiffany then goes blind from the horribleness.

Really, people.

It's amazing she managed to find a way to tell you this story at all.

*no, i am not kidding you.

3 comments:

Lady Strathconn said...

Oh. My. Gawd. I cannot believe someone would write that on a resume. I thought at first they were explaining themselves (special ed), but alas.

I am so sorry for you.

Jinx said...

The good old, seven story basement. Ahh, how I miss that building...

dferd said...

OMG! My friends and I have a saying when someone is really, really stupid. Its fucked up, and not really even remotely funny when you think about it (ok, it is - fuck) we'll just say that they ride the short bus and they are special. Special Ed. Clearly this guy is just that. :)