because bartending is not the most fun we can have while working at the bar

As tiffany has stories that are- while excellent- not meant for public
consumption, this blog entry has been ghost written by yours truly,
the mad blogging poet, what poeticizes at midnight. As such, you
shall have to forgive me this minor divergence from the everyday realm
of tiffany and into something a bit more askew... at least until i
ramble onto something more concrete.

In the meanwhile, i am tempted to spend the next thousand words musing
on the possibilty of the hokey pokey *really* being what it's all
about, but i think it may be better to relay the various things that i
do to burn time while i'm at work.
Thing number the first:

Wikipedia. A dangerous and addictive habit of mine is cruising on
wikipedia and looking one thing after another. The beauty of it? If
you pull up an article on Ligers, for instance, you will notice that
there are other wikipedia links to Tigons, genetics, cross breeding,
etc. Hence, you can search virtually forever.

Phone chess. The second nerdy habit is playing chess on my phone,
which is great because it takes lots of time, but infuriating if i
lose. It is, however nice because all you need is a phone, rather
than a computer.

3. A little game i like to call: searching myspace for people i've
slept with. This game is lots of fun, especially because girls love
putting pictures of themselves on myspace, and they tend to be
pictures of them in their most pampered form, which always makes for
interesting comparisons.

4. Prank calling Realseafood company. This is another fine game that
i am able to partake in while the peasants think that i am on the
phone with an important and bussinesstype person. In reality,
however, i'm trying to find out of they are able to make me a dozen
carryout orders of something that is "good, but not too fishy or
slimy, but still really tasty " I like this one at least once a week
because all you need is a phone and the knowledge that the unlisted
restaurant number is 769-7738.*

Thing the last:
There are also many things that i do with tiffany. In effort to best
use our massive combined intellect, we often tackle some of the tough
issues of the world. For instance:
Who first was like: We should drink some milk from that goat.
Is chinese foot binding really any different from breast implants?
Why don't you have to refrigerate bailey's?
How long do you have to buy ice before buying an ice maker becomes a good idea?
Is the appropriate time to cut of andy when he is no longer able to
say the name of a shot, or when he is no longer able to walk from a
table to the bar to get it?**

So i'm glad this was fun for you all, i had a rather good time. Also,
i have learned that my life is not nearly interesting enough to
sustain anything more than blog ghostwriter status.

Good day then.

*Company policy dictates that they must answer the phone within 3
rings, so an interesting alternate to this game is simply hanging up
until the person on the other end becomes obviously flustered, and
then asking if you can make a reservation for the night.
**And which comes first?