Thursday, November 30, 2006

i am tag-alicious

i've been tagged again.
mikala has commanded that i tell you all six weird things about myself.

so it has been written, and so it shall be done.
or whatever.

thing 1:
i am an ass-hat magnet.
i don't know if i am giving off some sort of scent, or something, but assholes and freaks seem to follow me wherever i go.
in almost any situation, it is a given that whoever i'm being forced to deal with will do something asshole-ish or freakish.
it cannot be stopped.

take last night, for example.
john and i went to see the new james bond movie.
knowing the force of my magnetic freak attraction, we waited for a while after the movie came out before we went to see it, because we know that packed movie theater = very bad place for a freak magnet.
initially, we thought we would be okay, because there were only 5 people in the theater, apart from the two of us.

unfortunately, we had grossly underestimated my magnetic powers.
about a third of the way into the movie, a guy's cell phone rang 2 rows behind us.
about 20 minutes later, his cell phone rang again.
and he answered it.
he answered it, people!
i thought john was going to have a stroke.
the point is, something like that happens to me almost every day.
and really, i'm thankful in some ways. i mean, what would i blog about if crazy people weren't assaulting me with their craziness all the time?

thing 2:
i am always, ALWAYS, either too hot or too cold.
i am never any kind of an ok/comfortable temperature.
i think i lack the ability to self-regulate my body temperature, or something. you know, like a snake.

thing 3:
i cannot stand the way wind feels (alhtough i like the way it sounds) and i can't stand to be wet unless i'm actually swimming or bathing or something. as soon as i get out of the shower, i have to get COMPLETELY dry as fast as possible. the feeling of a little random drop of water anywhere on my body seriously annoys the crap out of me.

thing 4:
i have very sensitive delicate little feelings. if i think that someone i care about is mad or upset with me at all for any reason whatsoever, i have a really hard time concentrating on anything else until whatever issue it might be is resolved. you know how sometimes people like to 'sleep on' a problem? there's absolutely no way in hell i could do that.
sadly, the sensitivity of my delicate little feelings sometimes leads me to imagine that people are upset with me when there is actually no problem at all.
so, that sucks, because no one likes this conversation:
-are you mad at me?
-are you sure?
-well, is something wrong?
-something is going to be wrong if you keep asking me...

ha! i've actually gotten a lot better about this whole thing. but, you know, i still catch myself thinking that people are mad at me. i just don't ask them anymore. i find that usually people will let you know, if you give them a chance.

thing 5:
i am afraid of fish, and all other types of sea-creatures. i think i'm even scared of dolphins.
fish just gross me out.
i don't eat seafood, either.
and if i think about fish while i'm eating, i'll lose my appetite.

thing 6:
i don't use capital letters when i blog, and i don't know why.
in real life, when i sign my name, i use a lower-case 't.'
but i capitalize the first letter of my last name, for some reason.


Anonymous Batman said...

all are true. and thanks for no tale about me berating rude old men.

1:26 AM  
Blogger tiffany said...

oh, did you want me to tell the intraweb about how you nearly beat an old cell-phone-retarded man in the bathroom of our local movie theater?

because, really, it's just more evidence of the power of my freak magnet.
don't you think?

1:42 AM  
Anonymous Bruce Wayne said...

are you calling me a freak? i fart in your general direction.

2:44 AM  
Blogger tiffany said...

i wish i could say there was anything new about that...

2:51 AM  
Blogger stewchang said...

I think most of your six things are pretty rational and therefore not sooo weird. Like for Thing 1, I'd say annoying people are everywhere. And maybe Thing 2 is connected with the 30 degree temperature swing we had here in Michigan this week.

The only thing I don't get is Thing 5: why you're afraid of dolphins. Dolphins? Maybe it's connected to the news out of San Diego this week that one of the killer whales at Sea World attacked a trainer, dragging him under water?

8:45 PM  
Anonymous jesus said...

I hate it a lot.

Almost as much as I hate Snape's dad.

9:29 PM  
Blogger tiffany said...

weird thing about me #7:
my middlest sister sometimes refers to herself as jesus.

anyway, 'jesus.'
don't worry, it gets better.
after a while.

11:52 PM  
Blogger Mikala said...

I can identify with a few of those.

Ya know, it's very comforting to see everyone else's weird things. It's good to know that there are people like me out there.

10:33 PM  

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