Thursday, November 16, 2006

the vinny and tiffany monty python tribute band

last night i came to work and very quickly realized that i was not all about bartending that day. come to think of it, i can't remember ever having been all about bartending. which is unfortunate, since bartending has been my job for 10 years. anyway, the point is, i did not want to work last night.


at 6:35 p.m. i sent my friend vinny (aka big furry bear) a text message that said:
hey, wanna close the bar tonight?*

he did not answer me.
i wouldn't have answered me, either.

so then, at 7:30 i sent him a another text message which said fine. but i'm farting in your general direction.

and that was when we lost our minds for a second, and this happened...

vinny: are you taunting me a second time?

me: yes, but you turned me into a newt.

vinny: a newt? have you seen any knights who say 'ni' running around? i hear they've been spotted in ann arbor.

~real life interruption~

the phone: ring, ring, ring.

me: the (insert name of sportsbar here).

vinny: NONE SHALL PASS!!!!(hangs up on me)

me: (giggling uncontrollably)

bar guests: (inwardly) i think something may be seriously wrong with this girl.

~end real life interruption, return to text messaging, which is far more fun than bartending~

vinny: how do you think i got this outrageous french accent?

vinny: time to rent Holy Grail. SNAP!

me: snapalicious

me again, because i DO NOT know when to give up: are there any women here today?

vinny: um...that's the wrong movie :-)

me: i can see you repressing me

vinny: the ministry of silly walks

me: i don't know that one

vinny: how not 2b seen. the twit of the year contest. all are from flying circus

me: listen, i came here for an argument, and this is just contradiction.

vinny: i'll have the spam spam spam spam eggs spam and spam. oh i'm sorry we're out of spam.

me: perhaps you should try the crunchy frog.

~real life interrupts again, because vinny shows up at the bar, no more texting until...~

(3:30 am)

vinny: elderberries!!! hahahahaha!

me: don't talk about your balls that way

*this was somewhat ridiculous, because the shift starts at 6 p.m. and people ususally like to have some advance notice about the whole working thing.


lama... said...


tiffany said...

so, you've shortened your name to just 'lama' now?
little do you know that is a monty python reference, too!

stewchang said...

found your blog searching technorati for ann arbor and after reading the last five posts you've made, must say, i like. your rules for bar behavior are excellent. the text messages in this one are, well, confusing.

tiffany said...

yeah, sorry about that, stewchang.
they only make sense to monty python enthusiasts.
the main point was that my friend vinny and i are huge dorks who enjoy text messaging way too much.

i'm pretty sure that message made it through...
anyway, welcome to tiffanyland!

stewchang said...

you monty python fans are rare and getting rarer all the time. unless you count the spamalot johnny come latelies. thanks for linking me, btw.

Mikala said...

Ya know? Spamelot is in St. Louis right now and you got me thinking about it now.

Mikala said...

Oh, and Tiffany, I added you to my list of links because I really have to check you daily - you make me laugh and I really need to laugh more.

Jen said...

freakin funny! i love monty python.... i got like, the majority of those.

Pete said...

I saw Spamalot here in Pittsburgh. It was really funny. You should totally go and see it if you have the chance. You'll love it.


Keather said...

"I'm not dead yet!"