Wednesday, March 28, 2007

another letter again. or, another another letter. whichever you prefer.

to: the higher powers of the internet
re: the apparently wasted $166 that i sent into the abyss of you
from: tiffany

dear higher powers of the internet, thou who sittest upon high to the sounds of an angel choir, somewhere in some kind of ethernet port, laughing at the stupidity of the masses:

what.
the.
fuck.

yes, that is the most eloquent sentence i can come up with.
and don't even get mad at me about it, because i've seen way worse things going on in your kingdom, if you know what i mean.

anyway, i would like to issue a formal complaint.

i recently purchased something called professional web hosting.
i did not really know what that was, but it came with a free domain name, and i think it meant that i was going to be able to upload a a 'theme' of my choosing, and then start blogging over there, much in the fashion of a cool and internet savvy type of girl.

but you decided to take a big fat shit all over my plans.

why, high lords of the internet?
why, when i worship you daily, as i do?

why would you make it impossible for me to upload my theme?
why would you let me log-in to my blue host control panel, and then try to pretend that i don't exist when i click on the ftp manager?
and how did you convince my cyberduck to join in your cruel games?

i really liked my cyberduck, you know.
i thought he was very cute, and then you came and turned him against me.

i also do not appreciate the cronies that you have working for you.
who do you think you are, george w?

i called the 24 hour 'support' that i have paid $166 dollars for, and a guy who sounded EXACTLY like napoleon dynamite told me well, i've never heard of that happening before.
so i guess that means everything is fine.
you know, except for the fact that i'm out $166, but i'm still blogging at blogger.com.

still, mightly lords of internet-ness, i know there is one thing you are good for, and that is getting the word out.
here is the word:
HELP!!!

i'll be waiting right here for your answer.

most sincerliestly yours, or whatever,
tiffany

7 comments:

Missy said...

the internet is mean. hope it fixes itself for you.

Aimeepalooza said...

I wish I could help...but I am a computer half-wit. I just had to have Paul the computer guy come over and show me how to print.

David said...

Can I help?

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear the new website is going well.

Dan

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Maybe you should sacrifice something to it.

CSL said...

Remember the movie "The Gods Must Be Crazy"? The title was created by a blogger. I'm certain of it.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

That blows. Who are you using?