Sunday, March 11, 2007

easy like sunday morning.

john and i had to close the bar last night. it was decently busy, so we didn't get done until about 10 after 3, and the late hour was complicated by the fact that john had to get up and open the next morning, and an hour of sleep was immediately thrown out the window because of the daylight savings time hoopla.

unfortunately, john and i were so tired we became hysterical before we went to sleep.
it was 5am, and we were laying in bed giggling uncontrollably--it reminded me of when i'm on vacation with this girl, or this girl, and we come home from the bar in a drunken fit of giggling at things that really aren't funny, and we laugh until our sides ache in a seriously painful way, and one of us may think she's going to pee herself. and then we have to take really deep breaths to get ourselves under control and then we're like ok, ok. we have to go to sleep! and then it's quiet for 5 minutes until someone starts giggling AGAIN, and it goes on and on and on.

anyway, that was john and i last night.
here's a little peek...

(after we had been trying to go to sleep for quite some time)

my stomach: makes a squeaky noise.

me: i didn't just boone, just so you know. it was a tummy squeak.

i should probably explain that a boone is a fart, before i go on. i should also explain that i've never booned in front of john, and it's a point of contention between us. he begs me to boone on a regular basis. no, i am not kidding.

john: my tummy just made a noise, too. so i didn't even hear your tummy squeak.

john, again: but i don't believe you. i think you tooted.

the giggling begins.

me: if i tooted, you would know because it would smell bad. my toots don't smell good. that's why i don't toot in front of you, dickhole.

bed shakes with laughter.

john: that sucks for you.

more giggles.

john: my boones smell like flowers.

john: laughs so hard i think snot may have come out of his nose, but i'm not sure because it was dark and he had his back to me.

me: no, they don't. more giggling.

john: my boones smell like clean butt-hole.

at this point, the entire house may be shaking with our laughter.

me, after giggling for a few minutes: great. now i have to get up and write this down, or else i won't be able to remember how retarded we are tomorrow.

i get up and write the exchange down on a tiny scrap of paper.
john is silent the entire time, and i think he has finally fallen asleep.
then i crawl back into bed, and he starts giggling again, which make me start giggling again.
i think we fell asleep giggling.

i mean, do we ever get old enough that farts cease to be funny?
oh well.
at any rate, giggling is good for the soul, and i know i fell asleep happy last night.
er, this morning.


Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

LOL @ the fact you call farts a boone (where did that phrase come from?) and that you've never done it in front of him. That's like my six month you really must love me test.

I kind of like it when you get so sleepy that you get all giggly like that.

10:28 PM  
Blogger aibee said...

I too am a private booner. No one shall share my boone! Life would be good if the rest of the world would return the favor, but experience has led me to believe that the world is full of ingrates, and also that clean butt hole still smells like ass.

12:21 AM  
Blogger Aimeepalooza said...

#1 I dutch oven Aaron as often as possible. But, I live with all boys and the lack of girls around has rubbed off.
#2 Changed the name just for you. Expecting lots of hate mail from readers of my other blog. Screw it! That's why I started this one, so I didn't have to worry about what other people thought.
#3 I can work anytime. Let me know when you need me and I will make sure I have childcare in place.

2:23 PM  
Blogger Mad Scientist said...

Dutch ovens are most assuredly not funny.

5:12 PM  
Blogger Brooklyn Frank said...


7:32 PM  
Blogger ian said...

I giggled too when I read this post.


And I have a Dutch Oven smiley that is freakin' hilarious.


12:48 AM  
Anonymous batman said...

i belioeve you said something more like "if i tooted you would smell rotten skunk" or something like that, and you didn't call me a "dickhole"

the people want the truth, not lies!

1:06 AM  
Blogger aibee said...

what the people want is to not smell your (the universal)(that means you too, batman) boones.

Trust me on this.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous bg said...

i am all for keeping it to myself as well. and considering we lived together for so long and never really exchanged them ourselves, you probably knew that. i do have to tell you that when you are pregnant, you have no control no matter who is around. also why must the men beg to be around when this stuff happens? can't the nasty things in life be limited to only the males?

12:47 PM  

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