Saturday, March 10, 2007

not-so-elderly woman behind a counter

it was 10:55am.
we wouldn't even be open for another 5 minutes, and i was fielding the fourth phone call with someone wondering if we would be showing the university of michigan basketball game.
please keep in mind that this is a really dumb question to ask.

we are a sportsbar.
on the university of michigan's campus.
OF COURSE we will be showing the basketball game.

the phone: riiiiinng, riiiiinng.

me: the (blank) sportsbar.

a guy on the phone: are you a sportsbar?

me: um, *i* am not a sportsbar, no. but i do work at one.

the guy: so you ARE a sportsbar.

(sigh.)

me: yes, sir. i'm a sportsbar.

the guy: well, do you have t.v.s?

me: no, we're a sports RADIO bar.

the guy: so i can't watch the basketball game?

(sigh.)

me: sir, i'm kidding. of course you can watch the game.
me, inwardly: can't wait to meet you!

****

by 12:15pm, every seat in the restaurant was filled, which was complicated by the fact that they were all empty at 5 til. things were a little crazy, to say the least.

the phone: riiiiinng, riiiiinng.

me: the (blank) sportsbar.

another guy: can i speak to the owner, please?

me, seeing the owner run around like a chicken on the other side of the restaurant: actually, we're right in the middle of our lunch rush, so it's a really bad time. could you call back between 2 and 4?

him: i'll just leave a few of my numbers...

me: i'm sorry, sir. you've called a sportsbar, and we're right in the middle of a big game. it's lunchtime. i have 6 tables that i haven't even been to yet. i cannot go find a piece of paper to take your message right now. please call back between 2 and 4.

him: it's not my fault that it's my job to call people. i'm just trying to do my job.

me: me too, sir. me too. please call back and try to do your job again between 2 and 4.

****

the thing is, how could anyone think it's a good idea to make a sales call to a restaurant at 12:15?
that's lunchtime everywhere, right?
i'm pretty sure it's not just an ann arbor thing.

here's a tip, in case there's anyone out there is any kind of phone sales business:
if you call us during the lunch or dinner rush, we are not going to buy what you're selling.
plain and simple.
you could be selling a thousand dollars for the bargain price of fifty cents, and we won't care, because we will have stopped listening to you as soon as we figure out that you're trying to sell us something in the middle of our lunch rush.

****

so, yeah.
not-so-elderly, but definitely grumpy.

5 comments:

Love Monkey said...

A dead give away is when the caller opens with "Hey how're ya doin today?"

Everything Aimee said...

Yes, it is on purpose. I have a lot of people on one site that I don't want on the other.
Ahh, this story brings back memories of day shift on the bar.

CSL said...

I can only say, I hope you like football.

ian said...

You gave me big smiles tonight with this. thanks!

Ian

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Morons... They are everywhere.