Thursday, March 01, 2007

call homeland security, there's a liberal in our midst.

i woke up this morning to the sound of thunder so loud, i was sure there was a train running through my bedroom.
this is scary for three reasons: i am scared of both thunder and trains, and i live in a basement.* so, thunder that is loud enough to wake me up down there? is thunder that i do not like.

i went upstairs to pee, and i saw lightning in the sky outside.
lightning, people.
i know it's march now, but just barely.

the house was still shaking from the never-ending roll of thunder when i went back downstairs to check the weather channel and see if i was going to be attacked by any killer weather in the near future.
in a most unsettling turn of events, the weather channel seemed to have no idea what was going on.
the weather icon above my city was a cute little cloud with some snow flakes coming out of it, with a caption that said 'some snow showers.'

it said nothing about non-stop thunder.
so that was a little worrisome.

then they started talking about the national weather, and i learned that there was something called 'what might be the biggest tornado cell ever' rolling over missouri.

but don't worry.
there is no such thing as global warming.

and if you feel compelled to give me a list of scientific facts to show me that i'm foolish for being concerned about the environment, please save yourself the time. i promise that i do respect your opinion (unless you hold the opinion expressed here. i'm not going to be able to respect that one. i hope you can understand.) and i am aware that you have a lot of facts to use in your argument against global warming. but, you know, then i would have to go find all of the counter-facts, and then we could go on and on forever and i really don't feel like doing all that work, do you? plus, then i would just get all freaked out and worried that we're all going to die in some massive and sudden climate shift. i haven't even been able to make myself watch an inconvenient truth, and i don't know if i ever will.

i mean, i'm trying to deal with my fear of thunder and trains.
i don't need to add to my list of things to be scared of.

*for the record, it's not actually thunder that scares me. it's the idea that the thunder is signalling something else. like, a potential tornado or something.
i tend to think in worst case scenarios.
and yes, it is a problem.

3 comments:

Mikala said...

Hey, 'member me? The girl that lives in Missouri!?!?!? Nah, we're okay, but we just had that same lovely storm system around 9:00 this morning and it was NOT pretty. I was just kinda sitting here at work watching the horizontal rain come down.

But, I'm a little different in that I LOVE storms! I don't usually get too scared. But, I'd have to agree that if you heard thunder in the basement, things were probably pretty wild out there.

And, have we really gotten past blaming everything on El Nino? I liked that, that was convenient.

D.B. Echo said...

I believe this is what's technically referred to as a "BMF of a storm." Wow, earthshaker thunder. I get that sometimes too.

I just posted a witty riposte on Whim's blog countering some of the "it's all a myth, and so is evolution and anything else scientists have to say" comments. And then I blew the punch line. Dammit.

hyfhnnfn said...

that happens to me
tornadoes are like, my worst fear. ever.
when there's a severe thunderstorm watch i take my favorite things and put them in a laundry basket and hide in my basement until it's over.