joining the fun

i've recently started reading a new blog (well, it's new to me. not new in it's existence, or whatever) called sarah and the goon squad. my first clue that this blog would be awesome and enjoyable was that it came highly recommended by amalah, the supreme ruler of all things funny and interesting.

oh...
you thought i held that title?
no. she does. definitely.

anyway, my second clue that this blog would be awesome and enjoyable was that--as amalah pointed out--anyone who refers to her own children as 'the goon squad' can be considered both awesome and enjoyable, sight unseen.

so, i wandered over and quickly found that my suspicions were correct.

sarah = awesome and enjoyable.

in the first post i read at her blog, she was asking people's opinions on some books she was thinking of reading, and also asking for other reading recommendations.
my heart got a little a-twitter, i must admit.
but!
then i suggested a few of my favorite books, and she emailed me back to tell me that she had already read them, and that she loved them, too.
so, now i love her.
the end.

anyway, a few days ago sarah posted a variation on the '5 weird things' meme, which she was tagged with after one of her bloggy friends invited her readers to ask her embarrassing and/or funny and/or strange questions in her comments section. sarah participated by asking her friend where she lost her virginity, but then got screwed (no pun intended) when her friend answered the questions and then tagged all the contributors. and then sarah answered the questions on her blog, and invited the rest of the internet to play and blah blah blah, this is the longest explanation ever--definitely one which would cause most people to doubt that i have a degree in english.

back to the meme!
(mememememememememememememe)

the thing is, at first i thought that i couldn't answer these questions because there are certain people who read my blog who might get a little embarrassed or judge-y, reading about things like me losing my virginity.
but then i thought, you know what? i'm not embarrassed by it. so, why self-edit? i feel like sometimes we learn the most valuable things about ourselves (and others) when we allow ourselves to exist outside of the rules for being that we imagine other people want us to follow. and so now here i am to answer the bizarre questions, which i found here, even though they originated here.

~this is the part where you move on if you are feeling embarrassed or judge-y. just go read another blog for a while. it's ok, you can come back later. and of course, you're more than welcome to stay and read on. just consider yourself warned.~


******
(these particular asterisks indicate the passing of time. as in, i wrote the above stuff earlier. but now i am back, and it is a different day. just so you know.)

so, i started trying to answer the first question in this meme that we've been talking about, and seriously it is the longest thing ever.
so i've now decided that each question is going to be it's own post.

if you want to play--and i really think you should--the questions are as follows:

1.) where did you lose your virginity?
2.) have you ever had an out of body experience? describe in detail.
3.) when was your most embarrassing fart, and who was around to enjoy it?
4.) have you ever watched porn with your significant other? was it hot, or weird?
5.) complete the follwing sentence: in my refrigerator/kitchen/pantry, you can always find:

if you play, you can choose to go into as little or as much detail as you want.
obviously, i am getting pretty deep.
but, you know, you can totally do one word answers if you want.

now get cracking, people! i promise i'll be back relatively shortly with my first answer.

you lucky bastards.