saturday afternoon, my cell phone rang.
i did not recognize the number on the caller i.d.
i did not answer the call.
the caller left a voicemail.
i listened to it immediately, as i cannot stand even the most mild of suspenseful situations (me: omg! i don't know that number! who was it? i must know noooooooow.).
sadly, checking my voicemail only increased the suspensefulness of the situation.
here is what i heard:
tiffany...it's me, bobby. just givin' you a call to see what's goin' on. (pause)
last i seen, i thought your name was tara, though.
uh. give me a call back. talk to you later. bye.
does anyone else find that mysterious and weird?
here's the thing.
i do, in fact, know someone named bobby. this was not the same person. because bobby has been my friend for a very long time--i know his voice, and he most certainly knows that my name is not tara.
secondly, i have not given my phone number to anyone lately. it is true that sometimes i get very drunk and may--allegedly--not remember some of my actions as they actually occurred. still, even when very drunk, the chances of me giving my phone number to someone who would say something like 'last i seen..' are pretty slim.*
if you called a number expecting to talk to a girl named tara, but then got a voicemail recording that said 'hi, it's tiffany...'
wouldn't you just hang up?
i simply cannot solve the mystery of this voicemail.
both my roommate and my sister have been known to give my phone number to boys they meet at bars and other random locations, when they don't feel like giving out their own numbers. but this just doesn't seem to fit.*
mainly because neither one of them is named tara.
are you out there?
please never call me again.
*i do not mean to sound like a heartlessly uppity bitch. i am not generally a heartless uppity bitch. mostly. but i am at least somewhat heartless and uppity about certain things, and blatant misuse of the word 'seen' is one of them. it's a huge pet peeve of mine--my dad used to do it all the time, and has steadfastly refused for the past twenty years to consider my feelings on the issue. but he pays my car insurance, and calls me about once a week for no other reason than to tell me he loves me. so, you know, he can stay. bobby, however, cannot.
**this, by the way, is not a fun game. sometimes these boys actually call, and i have to explain to them that you, for some reason, did not find them worthy of your actual phone number. this is not something that they are generally very happy to hear, just so you know.