This Totally Didn't Happen While I Was Working Last Night

In my defense, I would like to point out that my eyes are closed.
I saw nothing.

In a further defensive maneuver, I would also like to point out that last night was the last night that David (known to the masses as 'Duder,' or 'shwine') would be getting drunk at our bar--at least for a very long time.

Four and a half years ago, when we first opened our bar, David started working for us--he was only nineteen, and he had so much growing to do.

I can honestly say that we've corrupted him as best we could.
We've put in a solid effort, and I think we can all say we couldn't have done a better job.

Today, David leaves Ann Arbor to search for--I don't know, cute Asian girls?--in Taiwan. He says he's only going to be gone for a year, but one time he told me that he was going to have his cell phone turned on in 2 days, and it was still off 2 months later. So, we'll see. Anyway, if David ever does come back, he won't be returning to Michigan, due to some sort of plan to go to law school, or some other such nonsense.

Anyway, David.
You know how much we'll miss you.



Remember when you had to move in with Jen and I for a while, and you nearly killed us with all your disgusting boy-ness and the tomato sauce finger-prints on the refrigerator door, and the melted sticky popsicles on the floor?
Well, we love you anyway.

So, cheers Duder.



Good luck with the teaching of English and the ladies and all that.

But, stay away from girls who look like they haven't eaten in three months.
If you find yourself attracted to a girl who seems to fit this description, just try to remember all those Friday lunch counseling session we had over the years, and Back Away From The Skinny Crack-Whore Looking Girls.



You know I hate airplanes.
Don't make me come and find you.